Do It for Yourself

This is a hard post, because I feel we've almost been programmed to want to make other people happy. It's like our parents were so scared of us becoming selfish and self-absorbed that they pushed us too far to the other extreme. Of course the irony is that if you consciously neglect the self, it will assert its needs subconsciously, which can play out in all sorts of messed up ways, including manipulation. It is much, much better to be aware of your wants and to be open about them than to find yourself trying to get them in roundabout ways. Anyway, I digress. When I first wanted to stop picking, I thought it would be most effective to do it for someone else. A number of people I've known and have cared about have wanted me to stop. Trying to stop for any of them didn't work, though. The thing is, I believe the essential problem - the root of picking, what sustains the habit over years - is a lack of self-love. The only person you can and should do it for is yourself. Because it's what you want and need and because it's good for you - you'll stop. The benefits for anyone else are only secondary. Do it for you.