Relief

This is the first weekday morning since I quit my job that I do not have to go to work. What a relief! My last week was so stressful - I had a project to wrap up and many files (digital and hard copy both) to organize. My brain and body were operating at full-speed and I couldn't relax even when I got home at night. I was sure I would forget something. I can't believe I managed to get it all done and to consolidate my things down to two boxes. Unfortunately I packed one box too heavy and strained my back as I was carrying it away. My only regret (other than hurting my back) was that I didn't leave enough time to say goodbye to all of my colleagues. On my final day, I talked to many people I had never talked to before, said goodbye to some of my colleagues two or three times, and then couldn't find some other people I had wanted to say goodbye to. Oh well, such is life!

I had hoped to unwind over the weekend, but that was difficult for me - on Saturday I was busy all day starting to run through the list of tasks I need to get done before my move at the end of this month. By the end of the day I had a terrible headache. Sunday was similar, but due to a return of the back pain that had started Friday evening I let myself remain still a little. Today, finally, I am starting to feel more like myself and feel it is ok to move at a slower speed. It will be interesting to answer the question - who am I without my job? I worked at the same job for many years; it consumed so much of my mental space. Not only that, but there were many times when I had to bite my tongue, leave things I wanted to say unsaid because they conflicted with the majority's perspective. I still feel somewhat restricted, to tell the truth. I guess it will take some time for that to dissipate.

I'm happy to report that I got through the weekend without any major picking incidents. Knowing that the weekend was a high-risk time allowed me to remain more vigilant. I will try to remain vigilant over the coming weeks. It will be good to heal, though I know it will be slow and I'll have to be patient with myself.