Confidence

Tonight is the full moon. I have my last exam tomorrow and am moving at the end of the week. It is a time for conclusions. My life has changed a lot over the past few months. It is always strange to feel like you aren't the same person you once were - these days I feel as though I am in a constant state of transformation, but maybe that is just the nature of life. Some things happen to you, and some things you make happen. As I accept that certain changes are inevitable, I feel more confident and also like it is time to move on from past patterns that have had a negative effect on me. Picking is something that has had a grip on me for years, despite knowing that it's bad for me and wanting to stop. I want to make one final push and give it up for good, and I believe that I can. I don't know what makes this time different compared to any other time, only that I feel more confident these days. Surely some of this has come about as a result of positive interactions I've had with new people. The way people have been responding to me has made me feel better about myself. Yes, I see, I'm capable of making other people laugh and smile. Yes, it is ok for me to expect more from the people I share my life with. If I can expect more from others, why not from myself? Why not invest my time and energy in something that is important to me? I want to be able to share myself more completely with the people I love; I want to be able to be more open. I can, I will, and I must move on from this.