Trust

Last week taught me that I need to listen to and TRUST my body. The human body is an amazing thing. Not listening to it gets us in all sorts of trouble. Not trusting it leads to issues like picking, I think. What does picking have to do with trust? Well, when I pick what I'm doing is exhibiting aggression towards my bumps, blemishes, and scabs. They have a purpose, though. They don't come out of nowhere, and if left alone, they will undergo a transformation. I get super impatient. But what has my impatience and interference ever brought me when it comes to my skin but misery? I've got to trust my skin to do its job, and support it in doing so, by eating right, resting, exercising, and covering it up and/or moisturizing it when it's called for, rather than attacking it in a misguided attempt to "fix" it. My skin is doing just what it needs to. It's time for me to get out of its way.

Appreciating Yourself

How does it feel to fail so often, in such a visible way? Sometimes it sucks. But looking back I do appreciate my persistence. I must've picked hundreds, if not thousands of times in my life. Let's say I've been picking for 20 years, an average of once a week. That's over a thousand times. Talk about an ingrained habit. Don't get me started on scars. But after all that time, I still haven't given up on a) being able to stop, and b) having functional, protective, if not beautiful skin. And I don't think I ever will. I pick my skin, but I do not just pick my skin - I work every day on not picking my skin.
"Finding your own true nature is one continuous mistake, and rather than that being a reason for depression or discouragement, it's actually the motivation." - Pema Chodron paraphrasing Suzuki Rossi in The Wisdom of No Escape